New Dil at the Movies: The Pest
by Einstein2954
Summary: In New Dil's first review, he tries to save the theater and reviews the 1997 cult classic. But runs into trouble as a manhunter hunts New Dil down! NO SPAMS OR FLAMES!


**Note: I don't own the license of **_**The Pest **_**or the Scribbles from **_**Foster's Home**_**, but I own the license on New Dil because I thought him out. Enjoy the story!**

Cuts to New Dil sitting on the couch, watching TV.

New Dil: Another day, another thing to do.

Announcer: In other news, the movie theater Ol' Cinema, which has been up and running since the 1930s, is going out of business today due to the fact the previous manager went missing and the cinema can't seem to find another one. The cinema will be taken down tomorrow for a parking lot.

New Dil: They can't do that! I live near here! I'm getting to the bottom of this!

New Dil walks away and goes in his car and drives to the theater I'm here! Runs inside to the box office with a Scribble named Willy in it.

New Dil: 1 ticket, please!

Willy: Here you go, sir.

Willy gives New Dil a ticket.

New Dil: Thanks!

New Dil runs off to the concession stand with a tall Scribble named Longy.

New Dil: One bag of popcorn and box of candy, please!

Longy: Here you go, sir.

Longy gives New Dil his snacks.

New Dil: Thanks!

New Dil runs to the office "AKA: Theatre 3".

New Dil: I demand to find out what's going on around here!

Cuts to inside Theatre 3 with a Scribble with grey hair and a cigar in mouth named Manager and New Dil near him.

Manager: Mr. New Dil, we haven't gotten us a manager in months.

New Dil: You're the previous manager, why don't you do this?

Manager: Closing Theatre 3 was my private spot to review movies of the past. Then, one person discovered it and BAM! I claimed myself to be missing and now this dump is done for!

New Dil: Well, what if I can be the manager of this place?

Manager: HA! If you can, I would accept it. But, you never worked the projector, gave out the food, run the box office!

New Dil: Aren't any of the jobs already been taken by other employees who needed that?

Pause for a brief second...

Manager: OK, I made a tiny flaw on this. The other job I can accept for you is reviewing the movies.

New Dil: Gasps Like Sikel and Ebert and Roeper?

Manager: Sikel's dead, Dil.

New Dil: He did? I thought he retired!

Manager: Let's cut to the chase, Dilly. If you can review one movie, count it, one motion picture, you get the job, the theater and my chances to go to Rio!

New Dil: It's a deal!

New Dil shakes the manager's hand.

Manager: Good! Now, your first movie you're reviewing is…

Picks up the reel with "The Pest" logo on it.

Manager: _**The Pest**_! A movie that features John Leguizamo who plays a Latino con man. It was a box office flop, but became a cult classic once it's on video! Now, get to work, Dil!

New Dil: Yes, sir!

New Dil runs to a seat, eating his popcorn as the projector turns on with the screen saying "Our Coming Attractions" with a fanfare playing, plays the trailers of _**The Cable Guy**_, _**Harriet the Spy**_, _**Kindergarten Cop**_ and _**Big Daddy**_ and then the screen "Our Feature Presentation" with a fanfare playing.

New Dil: To the reader Oh, once the movie's over, I'll review the film to show you show it is. But, be warned as it contains spoilers of the film. You don't wanna witness it, turn back. You've been warned.

The Tri-Star Pictures logo comes up.

New Dil: See ya after the film!

Later, during the end credits...

New Dil: That was good. Now, _**The Pest**_ is about a master scam artist who's in deep trouble as he's on the run of a manhunter, who literally hunts men. The film features John Leguizamo as the title character with Jeffery Jones and Freddy Rodriquez in the cast too. Each scene is memorable, like the Chinese restaurant scene. Boy, Johnny must have been screaming for an Oscar, and the opening scene was good too, a hilarious rap video parody with satire of movies and TV ahead. It's like a live-action feature-length Looney Tunes short. In short, the film's nice; despite it was a flop when it came out. I give it 3 diapers out of 5, because some of the content was kinda boring. And if you don't want to keep my word of it, get it, because it was at BJ's. That concluding my…

A gunshot hits the wall.

New Dil: The hell?

A manhunter appears.

Manhunter: I'm gonna put you down.

New Dil: I can't believe it. An actual manhunter! I gotta get out of here!

New Dil runs off, screaming like a sissy girl, running out of the theater section. Cuts to the lobby, he skids to the box office.

New Dil: Where's the nearest gun stop?

Willy: Well, there's no gun joint around here. But, I happen to have one. Here you go, sir.

Willy gives him a rifle.

New Dil: How do you keep one of those?

Willy: Hey, I don't you how I live your life!

New Dil: Thanks!

New Dil runs off in Theater 3. Cuts to inside Theater 3, he runs to the manhunter.

New Dil: You got the nerve showing up.

Manhunter: Well, punk. Prepare for your first and last review.

The manhunter takes a machine gun.

New Dil: No fair! How come you get a Machine Gun and I get a Rifle?!

Manhunter: Well then, you're gonna lose.

New Dil: Not if I can help it! Takes out his rifle Hasta la Vista, crazy!

New Dil hits the trigger, but no bullets come out, then he keeps repeating it, but no bullets comes out, then Willy shows up.

Willy: I forgot to tell you. There's no bullets in this thing.

New Dil: Well, maybe you should have told me before I ran in here!!

Manhunter: Enough games. Time for you to die!

The manhunter prepares to shoot until a wrecking ball slams on him to the wall Ow. Falls to the ground, lifeless.

New Dil: Oh no! They're about to tear the theater down!

Cuts to outside the cinema, New Dil runs out.

New Dil: Stop! You guys!

New Dil takes out a megahorn.

New Dil: HEY!

The workers stop doing what they doing.

New Dil: You can't take down this theater! It's history! And no one likes to tear down history for a parking lot! And besides, I'm the new manager of this and order to go home and stop tearing down his building!

Worker: But, do you have proof?

Worker 2: You're not a manager!

New Dil: I have proof!

New Dil holds up a video.

New Dil: This video shows my review of _**The Pest**_ before that crazy manhunter arrived!

New Dil puts it in the VCR inside.

New Dil: on video Now, _**The Pest**_ is about a master scam artist who's…

Later…

New Dil: On video …it was at BJ's. That concluding my…

Gunshots are heard and then New Dil turns off the TV.

New Dil: Now, do you get what I'm saying?!

Worker: Yeah, there's good stuff at BJ's!

New Dil: No, I made a good review of that movie and I'll do it again if you all refuse!

The manager comes out, clapping.

Manager: Bravo! I saw the whole thing, Dilly! You're a born critic!

New Dil: I am?

Manager: Yeah, which means this theater's to stay, you're the new manager and I'm going to Rio! Adios!

The manager runs off.

New Dil: Thank you all for watching. And if you want a movie for me to watch, go on Einstein2954's blog on on the comment board. I'll be glad if you did! Bye!

Cuts to outside the cinema, New Dil paints the marquee saying "NOT Closed for business!" and smiles.

**THE END!**


End file.
